In which the Traveler Tries to Find Dinner in Shinjuku, aka Traveler in the Big City

This one is a few days late, but it's still amusing.

My last night in Tokyo I decided to go and get some dinner before calling the Bestie and afterward going to karaoke with another JET. I hadn't wandered much past one block from the hotel, so why not?

Well. Here's why not.

After a few minutes of dithering, I decided I wanted okonomiyaki. Basically I like okonomiyaki, and I wasn't in the mood for anything overly hot or complicated to eat. Essentially I was lazy. So, goal in mind, I set off.

I wandered for about ten minutes up and down streets, taking random corners and peering at plastic meals in the windows, restaurant names, menus and whatnot. I found nothing, but I did wander across a policeman. So I flagged him down and asked him if he knew if there was an okonomiyaki restaurant in the area. After he blinked away his surprise that I spoke Japanese and I got over my surprise that I didn't have to think about the question before I asked it, he crossed his arms across his chest, put his chin in his fist, and looked up into space. He tilted his hips and shifted his weight back and forth making various hmm and hrmm noises. Finally he nodded and looked at me.

「わかりません。」

Thirty or forty-five seconds of straight thinking and I get "I don't know."

Okay. Undaunted, I thanked him and continued my wandering. And continued. And continued. For about fifteen minutes. I'm kinda actually pretty hungry now. I wandered across the Lawson a block from my hotel and asked the lady behind the counter. She asked her male coworker. He asked the other lady behind the counter. Then he went around into the store to ask the fourth coworker. They talked for about three minutes. Finally he came back to me, bowed and apologized for taking so long, then, still semi-bent over, tilted his head to the side.

「ないと見えます。」

It doesn't look like it.

Okay. I remembered I had a map of the immediate area in my orientation materials upstairs in my hotel room. I'd check that, and failing that, pick something else. Simple, right? So I thanked him and went back to my hotel. When I got upstairs, tho, I realized my roommate was still in, and her boyfriend whom she'd not seen in a while was with her. So I decided not to go fetch my map. I went instead to the JET information desk downstairs for another map.

I mentioned to the guy at the table that I was looking for an okonomiyaki restaurant and told him of my travels in search of the elusive food. He seemed genuinely surprised that nobody knew where one was, proclaimed that it was impossible that Shinjuku didn't have an okonomiyaki restaurant, and whisked me off to the hospitality room to check online.

Wouldn't you know it, the one computer that was open, incidentally the one we sat down at, had non-functioning internet.

He told me to go to the 交番, the police box, around the corner of the hotel.

"There will be two or three policemen on duty, one of them will surely know where one is."

I thanked him and set off. The police box is in a different direction from the block of restaurants and entertainment I was wandering, but I was decently sure that if they gave me vocal instructions I could follow them. Worse come to worst they'd probably give me a map. So I went up the block, following a couple of street signs, and kept my eyes peeled for the police box. But I couldn't find anything that said Koban in either language, so I went across the street at a fancy intersection and checked the area map.

The map showed the police box as in the middle of the intersection.

.....

I don't think that's right.

So I went to another map. It had fewer details, but after a moment I found the police station. Apparently I was in the right area, but I still couldn't find anything. So I wandered off back towards the block of restaurants. I'd look one more time and if I didn't find anything I'd pick something else, though by now it was a mission for its own sake. About five minutes and four blocks away I found another map and just for kicks I looked for the police station. Apparently it was about three buildings up the street from the intersection. Dafuq. Oh well, screw that, I didn't want to go back.

I went up and down a few streets and--wait. I know that kanji.

お好み焼き

Okonomiyaki! I took about three steps backwards and went back to the menu.

広島のお好み焼き

It was okonomiyaki, but it was Hiroshima style. Which isn't bad, don't get me wrong, but it's made with noodles in it, in layers, and is quite difficult to eat. At least, for me. Not only was I not in the mood for anything overly difficult to eat, but I don't particularly care for Hiroshima style okonomiyaki. I want the pancake. But where there's one there's a nest, right? I kept looking.

And found nothing. Well, that's not true. I found two McDonald'ses and a KFC. But seriously, it's my last night in Tokyo. I am not going to McDonald's.

You know what? Screw it, I'll eat the damn Hiroshima okonomiyaki. But there was a problem--I couldn't find it again. I looked. Twice.

There was another convenience store, so I stopped in and asked the guy behind the counter. By now I'm really good at this question and I've even made it more complex, adding the disclaimer that it's an odd question, but here it is anyway. He considered the question, asked his coworker, then turned back to me.

「ないと思います。」

I don't think so.

Dammit.

Fine. I thanked him and left. I was tired and hungry, dammit, and now I was tempted to get a sandwich or rice ball from the convenience store and eat in my room. But I'd just left FamilyMart--it'd be embarrassing to walk right back in. Maybe the convenience store in the lower level of the hotel was still open. Besides, it was a quarter to eight already, and I'd told the Bestie I'd call her back around 830. For reference, I'd left the hotel initially between 630 and 7. So I oriented myself and went back toward the hotel. Right across the mini-street from the Lawson up the street from my hotel I saw a restaurant I'd noticed two or three times in my meandering. It wasn't okonomiyaki, but I like donburi well enough, so I stopped in. By then I was so hungry that I started getting nauseated about halfway into my meal. I have the oddest-ly delicate digestive system I know of.

I stopped at the Lawson on my way back--I'd earned dessert. My cashier was the same guy who'd went around and asked everyone else. .... Hello.

So that was The Great Okonomiyaki Failure. I made it back to my room at a little past nine.

Also, it was dark and I didn't want to look overly touristy, so I didn't take pictures. Sorry. Use your imagination--I'm sure you'll be fine.